If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
