DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
