Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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