hotel room ftw
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
