I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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