Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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