Moan for me like Helen Keller
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
