their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize