Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think my moral compass just broke
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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