thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
