hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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