Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

addddeeerrraaaallll.

(641): View more from Iowa

ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.

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(310): View more from California

she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator

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(408): View more from California

I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate

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(301): View more from Maryland

i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

(240): View more from Maryland

hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

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(714): View more from California

Who was that guy you went home with?

(1-714): View more from California

Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work

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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.

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(614): View more from Ohio

The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died

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