ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
