so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
