Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize