see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
