you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
