Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
