in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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