dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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