How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
