I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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