you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
