Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
