He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
