ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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