I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
