i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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