you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
