So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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