we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
