if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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