i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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