Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
