oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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