You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
