Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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