Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
