What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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