Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize