Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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