This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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