PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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