i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
