the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
