brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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