i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
