So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
now i know why i became what i already was.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
