he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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