WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
