His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
