I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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