We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize