You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
