It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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