You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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