you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize