Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
