Where did you get a picture of my penis
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize