This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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