do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
