im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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