you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
