thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
These tits shall not be calmed
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