i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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