smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
