is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
