dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
and you fell through a lawn chair
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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