marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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