You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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