i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
