Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Alive.
So much puke
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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